Awareness of death

It happened exactly on April 07th 2011: our son Louis, got hit by a car while riding his bike on the way back home. As usually, he was riding behind his dad when “an old man” missed the stop sign and hit him.

From what I was told, as soon as possible, the “old man” (extremely shocked himself) came to rescue Louis.  By then, my husband noticed that Louis was not following and turned bad to find him. They rushed the kid to the hospital, and he was fine. Absolutely fine.
I don’t know exactly how much time it took them to come back home. Almost casually they told me what has just happened. Leaving me speechless (literally so) no sound could come out of my mouth.
Getting in bed, Louis asked me  “tonight I want you to sing me the Lokah mantra . Usually he sings along but that time he did not and he asked for it three more times.
Then he said ” now it’s my turn. I have a prayer to say”
Louis : “Dear God, my name is Louis, the son of Jeanine and Marc Barbé. Gisa is my second name. Don’t confuse me with other Louis out there.
Bear with me, I have many many many things to ask you tonight.
First, I am asking you to forgive “the old man”. He did not hit me on purpose. He was the first person to call my dad. You know, three cars passed by me laying down and no one stopped. He was the first person to help me. He had a very nice voice. Then he rushed us to the hospital. He offered to replace my bike, but he really doesn’t know bikes, my bike is a super bike and it’s read. It’s the perfect bike, irreplaceable. Please God, forgive the “old man”, he is a good person.
Now I want tell you the story of my friend XXX ….. ” and he went on telling God the story of his friend.
The prayer was indeed a long one, including many people: family and friends mostly. And he ended with us, his parents.
He asked to not die before us and he asked Him not to die as a child. He added: “To be honest, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to leave my parents, I love them infinite times infinite times a thousand. Also I want to do many many many good things before I die”
His closing words were “ok now I am done, I think I told you everything”.
He turned to me, and we had the longest conversation ever on Karma, life after death, enlightenment. He thinks we lived our previous lives together, and finds no interest in enlightenment if it is not “all together”. At some point, he again asked God what “did Joy the kitten, and other animals do in their previous lives to be born animals in this present life”. The day after, before leaving for work, his dad warned him “don’t forget your helmet, it has saved your life”. An angry boy replied ” I could have died at least three times even with my helmet, three cars passed by me laying down on the street, God only saved me, don’t you understand that?” He was almost yelling at his dad. Marc and I looked at each other in silence. Marc apologized, we hugged and he left for work.
While I was reading the Jivamukti Yoga School March Focus of the Month: Closing the Gates, the intensity of that moment immediately came back to my mind.
My religion is not Buddhism. My religion is to live and die without regret.” – Milarepa.


  1. il est très émouvant ce post , ce récit ..Je crois que je ne l’oublierai pas de sitôt .
    et c’est une bien belle citation à la fin. Merci du partage!


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